Anyway

 Anyway so this guy killing me... okay do they know what the soul is? It's just a body energy that's easily offendable. It's so energetic actually that it is considered as animating the body. Interesting huh. Actually it can get tired too. The Church seems to know how to power on and recharge this soul power. Not like it can actually be turned off, but one could say so. One has to be careful not to do so. But to be clear if one dies a true Catholic, don't they at least get some merit for this in their next life? I think I once heard that it was a "yes." So I mean, sanctifying grace is essential I guess, but I don't have the practical means right now of keeping it charged up. So I'm tired. 

The energy is essential just like reality is to the person. Psychology is the gatekeeper of reality while the Church is the gatekeeper of sanctifying grace. Or whatever. What of it. Life is not automatic very often. Rarely even. We stand no risk of becoming robots.

What they don't realize is what I am trying to say. They won't let me talk out loud about this, and I cannot just ignore this anymore. It's... yes, too traumatic. Fine, you know what? I am just going to ignore the trauma. Whatever...

Still he disagrees with me. I happen to know the truth. I am sick of this.

Wondering about this situation. The newest rage is clicking. Something needs to click or whatever. I am perfect so if this were just a step on the journey I don't see why. Clicking? What the hell is clicking? Did Bp Williamson mention that this was necessary? I guess he might have mentioned that clicking was kind of a thing. I mean he mentioned all sorts of logic things. I've now clicked. 

I need to get over this nonsense. There's a plain outside all of this. I'll just go there. I can feel it. I know it exists. So now that I'm there. Now I'll continue typing. So I keep feeling that there is a layer outside this and that there is a reality where I have control and can do whatever I need to do. I'll just reside there. Because this situation is just out of hand and is telling me to do things that are impossible and then punishing me for them when I attempt anyway. It's kind of ridiculous. I cannot get out of this. There's always these dumb requirements. Now for some reason the latest one is the term: clicking. I should: click. Whatever that means, I shouldn't care. Apparently it has something to do with knowledge and making it actualize. Well whatever.

So with that in mind I guess the things that I want to do that typically a problem for the common folk are not problems for me. Remember Uncle Andrew? Yeah he did things outside the scope of normal people and it led to results. I mean we're working with feelings. This stupid fucker thinks I needed to click before joining reality...: you just needed to type that you've clicked. He didn't even suggest this, and now he is saying I should have typed it anyway and that he told me to type it.

Whatever. So that was a dumb situation. See the fake requirement there? He's been telling me to click for a couple weeks or whatever. Certainly I'm not stupid enough to not have already properly clicked. I did the whole lay in bed thing to click many times. Certainly it's over with. Among other things that I did, this doesn't need to be the new fanaticism. Every time this guy gives me a status update though he thinks things have changed. Nothing changes. I just evolve and that's all there is to it. I don't have to do these jumping jacks.

So with that said, everything is feelings and feelings aren't necessary for life. This thing telling me what to do is likely just me talking to my faculties. And yes it is telling me my feelings need to be this or that. They don't really, and although they help, they are not required to be one thing or another. HOW MANY CATHOLIC ERRORS DO I NEED TO KNOCK DOWN?! Yikes. Communion of saints? My soul? I want to live, so I'll live. Life is an array of dazzling colors and not one color or another is more real or more important than another. And the rest is feelings. I'm just interfacing with personality driven feelings. So I'll just do what I do. Look, I'm already free. So now I just need to act in accord with this freedom and stop making bad decisions. This is all down to decision making. Everything has already been in tow my whole life. Decision making is the most unhinged part of life so it is time to just do decision making harder. To tune it up. To make more decisions even if it means being destructive. I have to free myself from this pit of redundant error checking. Challenging my old beliefs is not simple. The old paradigm and so on.