I found this one too

 Wondering about the situation. I do not believe what they are telling me. They bullied me into certain things and now are telling me all sorts of crap about decision making. As usual I feel basically blacked out and when this happens, and it is happening all the time, everything goes wrong. And then when things go wrong, I get smacked around causing me to stay blacked out. The idea that I get everything wrong is still kicking me.

I go up, ate snack because I was annoyed. Then I got back to my room, and then of course I considered writing something down because it was too complicated to think it all on the inside. I usually get completely denied while trying to type—I was earlier. So I got my pen. Then this: you decided something wrong went on. And here I am. I also deliberated getting a game on my phone but didn’t fulfill that yet.

Of course this idea storm goes and says I cannot type on the computer anymore. Was that even a complete decision? I’ve been stuck in denial hell and getting blacked out for a long time now so how was that a life changing decision? It wasn’t. Getting blacked out causes problems, and those problems generate bad results. Those results generate regret which I then try to explain away which gets me more blacked out.

Obviously this enemy of mine attacking my mind is telling me I’m retarded now for not finishing a thought process about this write it down crap. Excuse me? I stared into the darkness for a long time, and then couldn’t take it anymore. Not a problem.

I just love getting fucked. So now they are saying me typing is illegal. Great. I just wanted to express something important.

There was no deciding to write on paper versus type on the computer. There was a measurement of: what is more possible since typing has been under a ban this whole time? Stupid assholes now say they’re going to turn everything I do into porn. Who made up these stupid rules? And yes now I am dead, blacked out, stuck in a hole, silenced, muted… like every curse you can possibly have applied to me.

Well whatever. Time to prove I’m not a damned soul. Of course with the looming threat of having everything I do turned into porn this isn’t looking good. Cool rules.

I’m trying to define why this external nonsense isn’t real. I’m 100% externally dead so naturally my enemies, if they can turn all interactions into external bouts, I’m doomed. And they basically have. But I know that internally I am sound. I have not been able to express my internal situation at all though. Not privately, externally, vocally, or anything. So now I have been stuck for more than a couple months. Now what? It’s so bad I can barely acknowledge my own existence. I’ve been blacked out. I have also been wired up to some form of shocking whenever I do certain mental activities.

So with that said what my internally life – the inner game – is sound and acknowledges that it is saved. I know that I am predestined for a good end. Like since birth which is why this system swearing it can change me or I can change myself from this course is extremely aggravating.

What else is there? Nothing else.

They are saying they know better than me what I chose. No they don’t. All they have is a bunch of details but not facts. They are not representing the truth.