I Was Wondering (part 2)

Little do they realize they're all wrong. So when it comes to what I've been wanting to say it's quite simple. The idea that I am not anything just a singular unit is true. There is no soul, no conscience, no God, nothing. No uber. And since no uber, not of these things telling me anything. Nothing telling me what to do. I am free to do what I want basically, but to do anything is not correct. So with that said there is just the inside and the outside. All of the inside is under one roof: me. It's all just me. It cannot actually do anything to me. The problem is it freaks out and gets me to do what it wants. This is fueled by my enemies crushing me. The inside life isn't real. There is no immortal soul. So with that said, there is nothing above me or outside me telling me what is true or real. There are only distortions and aberrations. These get in and start pressing my buttons. I know better though. All the feelings, the voices, the impersonations, and other internal nonsense is aberrations, subversions, and criticism. It's all not real or true. I'm not dumb. It's all distortions. I know myself and I cannot change. But these viruses get inside and start turning my gears. Psychology is not enough to shut it out. The fatalism and fanaticism and modernism just grinds me to dust. And then the silencing. It's all based on lies, not truth. The voices? Not real as I've said. It's all inside stuff. And unfortunately my insides have been so ignored that a lot of negative things have gotten in. But it's a part of the process I guess. Does this process understand that it's the devil? This process is simply a mix of lies and chaos. Guess what: it's all a lie. What I am trying to say is that I do not have to be governed by it. It is not my authority. This stuff is not my conscience. It is not my internal right or wrong. It is not going to get me in trouble for doing something perceptively wrong. There is wrong, but I already know how to handle it. I don't need something inside me to invent something as being wrong. There is no intellect. All this Catholic crud is there to get me killed. I know everything inside me is a singular me. Another thing I am trying to say is that this Catholic separation of faculties is a completely twisted way to understand something. There is no separation.

Well I was onto something but it's getting waylaid still. Whatever. There is no separation of faculties. I am a singular being. So it's us versus us. There's nothing but people that are singular units fighting other singular units in a domination war for power because when there is no God then power is god I guess is how it can be viewed. Which is pathetic. But that's the way it goes. Lust to control the uncontrollable. Hate, and the rest of it. I don't care to be like that, but I guess it's out there for some stupid reason.

One can say it's all emotions. What I am trying to say is that I am perfect and cannot lose. Are they stupid? There is NOTHING BUT LIFE. I have life. I am living. Is there really any more to this? NO. It's what you do with this life that matters and not some stupid magic meter that can artificially stop you from living lively. Ridiculous. There is no such thing. Even were it a magic meter nothing happens it if is empty, literally nothing happens. So I guess someone can just go eat food, sleep, drink something hydrating, go for a walk... whatever to get this invisible magic energy. But the point I am trying to make is there is no magic meter either. If you want more liveliness in your life that only stops when you breathe your last, make lots of decisions. Otherwise there is life and that's all there is. All the segmenting is ridiculous. Unfortunately the Catholic developmental detour can be really worth it because kind of how else do you learn the great devotions. See the problem here? A clean detour is not easy and is often quite bothersome, or dirty. But you've got to know eventually what you are getting yourself into.

So with that said, the uber mentality of energies controlling me, telling me I'm bad, saying everything is ruined or something is ruined, no it's all a lie. It's just feelings. And feelings are just parts of an energy that can be understood with psychology. Whatever.

I don't have much else to type in this regard. I feel the urge to finish with a conclusion but whatever. I don't really believe in the half life of anything. But there is a catch to that and it's that things get strange after so many iterations. To be fair though, there is no half life of anything. There's something else to it that people don't understand. Nothing degenerates. It's a problem of anti-matter, and the generation of anti-matter is all around us. We though do not care about anti-matter as an absolute unit. So that's solved. Knowledge doesn't decay. Remember I said people can get stuck? Yeah well there's always a way to get unstuck, like there's always a back door. There always will be, even if the back door is just repeating a task eventually.

Since there is nothing but life, how do we sustain life? Well there are ways.

This presence bothering me? It's not right. It is ranting about all sorts of mystical things that it's guilty of bricking. And of course it blames me. See the problem? See these emotional energies being threatening? It's just energy. Wild energy. I'm on medicines by the way and they might actually be drugs. Now of course I feel fancy when taking them because I am absolutely made to, but they're a bit strange. This energy is not real. The things it rants about are on the inside. They are completely controllable internally even though it tells me they are based on external things I: cannot reverse. No, it's on the inside. The wild energy controls were taken away from me, and now of course later it is telling me that things are ruined.

This thing is not the boss of me. You know why? It's a distortion, not me. And a distortion has no right to be my boss.

What else is there? There's a lot but that feels good to type. Freedom is very difficult to acquire. True freedom is not easy because it takes a firm boundary, and those are not easy to acquire. There's a lot of things to defend against, and often we find more things that annoy us. But there is a limit.