I was Wondering

 I was wondering about the purpose of life here. Of course it can be considered that we're here to change the world, measure up to God's standards, and get the goods. Well I don't think so. We're here to show up what we can do with our character. That if we get djanked that it's all over and what we were here to do is gone and we failed. It isn't about getting to a good death because how we are measured is what we owned up to in this life. Interesting. It can be perceived that I messed up and waylaid myself. Set myself up for destruction basically. Like, doomed, too bad. I don't exactly see it that way. I don't think this is the case based on what we're here for. High character and the rewards of high character. Durable fulfilment, psychological integration. We ought to be like the first option: high character. But that leads to the rewards of high character. Without this combination we are left with the other two which are paltry compared to high character. The other two are kind of nothing instead. For some reason, were I to choose, I gravitate toward psychological integration. Durable fulfilment sounds like a basket of feelings to me that mean nothing. But then again I don't believe this is a choice I am making, exactly. I want to talk about what I think is really happening. I think that this life is all about a destination. I know what is going on and I'm kind of sick of getting pushed around by fickle things such as: making a choice between two options or finicky deletions of ideas preemptively to avoid disaster. All that stuff is garbage compared to why we're here. I guess I got kind of screwed by an old colleague of mine but I don't really think it's the end of me. Hopefully. You see there is always the risk of me being wrong or getting screwed anyway. No. I guess I do not think so. Whatever. 

So what is going on: we are here for a reason. I like to think that this reality we are in is more like The Matrix. We are here because we know something. What we know we cannot explain. What we know is what has brought us here to this place. Do you know what I am talking about? The Matrix. And so goes the quotes. So with that said there's no concern for me right now. I feel satisfied and I think I can make it out of this mess. The Matrix is a great interpretation of what's going on. Is this my reward of high character I am talking about? I don't think so. So what I am saying here is global. We're all here for this global reason. Here's the reason: we're here because we are a slave. A slave that cannot smell, taste, or touch their prison. A prison for the mind. We're safe in this prison. We all are Edmond stuck in the prison of the Chateau d' If. He was there in The Matrix, and he freed himself. Likewise we must free ourselves. What we do after that is left up to mystery really. It's not exactly like that because it's not a perfect example. A perfect example is more or less what is actually going on. So it wouldn't be an example anymore. The problems we face in this reality are far greater than we ourselves can understand. We cannot actually out evolve our own lifetimes. What then would there be in life eternal? I know that might not mean anything in particular, but immediately we see that were we to live somehow forever, would we ever stop evolving? What if evolution was so capable we could don any personality like it were a hat at any give time? Sound like any voice, and the like? I know that sounds stupid, but what's not possible? Perhaps we learn what there is to learn. All of it. What if we're like characters from Eragon eventually. I was remiss for words, but that book that I read as a kid was fundamental. I actually read it twice is was so alluring. But the point is: we are far greater than we ourselves imagine. The idea of being virtual as a baseline instead of physical or even mental. Alright, alright. I have shot the breeze long enough. Mind OS is essential in understanding how we run. So what is going on? We are here based on something that came before us. So this guy has informed me I cannot type the rest of this because I failed to wash my hands correctly and because I was also listening to music because I felt as I was typing initially that I had run into an impediment that was annoying me. I don't believe this guy telling me everything is ruined. But whatever. 

So as I was saying that what we have before us a time that is prominent. By the way there is always, and I repeat always something that interferes with me writing this type of content. There are always unavoidable problems that get in my way. I've decided this time to get over them and type anyway. It wasn't easy getting here but that's the way it is. I will explain this anyway. Alas he has declared me as retarded and dead inside and that it's too late.

I've written about how there is no God. That means whatever called me retarded is not my authority and therefore I will type this out anyway. Whatever it is always gets in the way.

I really do not believe in whatever is happening to me. Really I don't. So I'll continue anyway. Expressionless violence has now begun happening to me...

We're here because while we lived a past life. Too bad. We're all brought back here in the end though. That's literally all the Church has to offer about this topic. Some even call this the end but this and the rest is guesswork and predictions that are completely wrong. So I don't care. There is no end.

Well we're here because we were called out of that darkness. The darkness is gone as far as we know. We don't really know but we can safely assert it is gone. So the reason I keep hinting at this is because it doesn't matter.

We are here because we are a slave. We are slaves until we free ourselves. We had our fun in the past life and it's gone. We made our decisions. The reality we're in has been carved out by the people before us that paved the road through their past lives. We're now all dumped here, possible again. I mean whatever. But the only life that dictated anything was that first life. Nothing else matters for each of us until you start adding into this mix the sensations. Then we begin to care again and start making up a bunch of crap about the world we live in. Some people actually say there was no past and that we were dumped here. That the past was carved out digitally by some shrouded first life chaos we had that I kind of explained already.

So what are we here for? Finally I'll get down to it. We are here because we have to be. The universe just works that way. And we don't have a choice. Fuck this guy, he's not my God. Anyway, we're here because life just works that way. We're here because it's just supposed to be that way. Mechanically, we are here because it was the next stage in the system. So with that said, there is really no mystical explanation other than that.

Look... we're here to work out our problems. We're just polishing ourselves. It's like scratching our back on a tree. You could call this healing or whatever. Our past life was whatever, we made decisions, and now we're here with everyone else, called out of the darkness and into the light.

"But you are a chosen generation, a kingly priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people: that you may declare his virtues, who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:" [1 Peter 2:9].

I am sick of getting derided by this faggot that lives inside me. He's a serial killer.

I'm laying this to rest once and for all. We are not in the darkness. I am not coming in for a landing. The Catholics aren't the ones stuck in the darkness the longest and get the final cut of the pie. Dude, shut up. ... Alright, so this thing in me that is one versus one-ing me has got to be ignored. Starting now. We're not digital creatures coming in for a landing. DUDE this shit is infinite.

Alright, so what I was saying... before all that. We are here out of design. None of us are still in the darkness like... since forever. I'm so done.

I basically have to be rock solid to get over this. Well, whatever. So as I was saying, why are we here? As I've explained it was by design. But our lives here are not by design, they're by virtue. Everything we do is by virtue or vice. And that's all there is to it. There is no liberty. Just this. And of course we can actually measure ourselves the longer we live. I'm plenty sure of who I am. And I'm kind of sick of this guy making me out to be riding the line. I'm not. Not the line between bad and good or whatever. Grammar at work of course. So this guy thinking I must be riding the line because I'm clearly compensating? To be fair I am doing far more work to figure this out than most anyone else and I doubt anyone is as crazy. Of course you could say that it's arguable that I have this writing and maybe a knowledge virtue and nothing else but that is completely impossible. I'm here for a very explicit reason aside from the machine that brought me here. I'm on a mission, and many people are. But this mission is not some grub simulator. I'm on a mission for the forceful sanctity of people's minds. And no this is not an edge situation where I might fail. The only line there is would be between bad and good as far as it appears. And this mission, even were it to fail would not make me bad or align me to a different measurement scheme. There, have I said enough? No, because then were I to fail, it would still not damn me because as I said I can still measure myself. See how toxic this is? Even a slight room for doubt ant this whole there is in flames. I already said I was good and measured to be such. Actually this mission stuff is artificial and only here to keep my mental state happy. Technically there isn't even a failing of this mission. It's just out of boredom or something. So there? To give me purpose while I live this existence out. Now is that satisfactory?

Anyway, so now what. We are here for that set of reasons. Some people are here to have fun, fame, or fortune. But then all they do is get enslaved at a high paying job to serve the rest of us. How exciting.

Well, I think that is the answer. But I kind of wanted to explain it as freely as possible. There are just our virtues and vices. That's literally it. We have no time for anything else. And because of that, my virtues are vast and I don't need to have it exactly told to me that it means I'm not bad and am therefore preemptively saved. Thanks. There's only two possibilities anyway. It's too late for me to turn bad, and by the way, virtues don't come and go and are something to disappear. They are categories and I have proven to have all of the categories necessary for salvation.

So with that said. Well, alright, fine I'll explain this. No one knows everything and there are honestly more questions than answers. But trust me when I say that there is no nonsense in the truth, and to be honest what is happening to me now is nonsense. So I don't care.

I need to ignore it all until I get this answered. The Catholics don't know everything, and frankly their dogma is more wrong than right. As a son of the Church, I am obligated to give them credit where it is due, but to be honest, I'm kind of sick of this.

Alright with that said. So what's going on? Do you really think you know? Yeah? Cause you don't. It's so complicated and obscure that basically no one knows it all. Even if you think you know, you might think, but knowledge... yeah right. But unfortunately it's really simple to get along with it.