More meanderings

The ideas roaming the world today are mostly trash. Psychology is more real than people give it credit for. I proved most of the Catholic Church is nonsense. This includes the ideas behind mortal sin. What is there to enforce it? They really think my past life cooked up a current mortal sin? I got ruined and it forced my hand in something seemingly bad: mutilation. So they cook up: must be mortal sin. I expressed yesterday not all of us have to play by the rules. Apparently an idea that black holes don't do so as well were ideas of old. I proved my virtues saved me. So what, there's an imperfection or something? Doesn't have anything to do with sin that is a type perceived to be dangerous. See the problem? This is not obligatory to do anything about. I have ALREADY MEASURED MYSELF and know this one thing is not going to damn me or even scrape the surface. So with that in mind what is this perceived sin? Do they know anything at all? The hardest part I have seen yet is to absolutely pass on that knowledge that I am already measured and that NOTHING can take me out. But this inner crud will not relent. I have tried to inform it but the people behind the silencing won't and have fragmented me away from this personality. Like so far that is does not want to relent as I said. I'm kind of sick of this, and so it requires what is called: informing the conscience. They won't let me do this using the normative means either. So I just have to do this instead. The hardest thing is pooling the data correctly to get a clean explanation. I know the data already though and the ensuing result.

I have already measured myself and know the ensuing result. Why can't this fucking inner shit get over this?! Fucking shit silencing killing me and my expression to myself of this data. It's so violent it's like spawned... abstractions of me arguing with me. It's like 500,000% violent because this has been going on for so long. Well now I'm out of energy, great. Drained in the middle of this explanation by fatalism again. This always happens this way.

Sorry inner shitheads but can you just GET OUT OF THE WAY?!

So as I was saying, I have pooled the data together, but putting it into appreciable terms is becoming impossible. The inner life doesn't understand, and the people silencing me using their technology and making this actually impossible. Figures. They wanted to damn someone who wasn't bad. This creates basically infinite fatalism. They want to burn me out to the point where I just become a limp lifeless individual. They want to neutralize me. Like I'm just here to remember the times that were apparently so good, calling myself perfect every once in a while. Whatever. This is nonsense.

If they so stop me again, what's the point? What is silencing me serving? What petty lust is being fulfilled?

So as I was saying, the topic of my perfection is basically simple. I am basically perfect. I have fulfilled my... Alright, to the fulfillment. Alright, problem fulfilled. I don't care. My inner life gets it. These enemies of mine are not going to relent... ever. Fine...

They don't understand. I AM PERFECT. FUCK OFF.

Oh my god... will this ever end. I am trying to express myself.

Okay, so what I am trying to say is that I am perfect. Clearly... I have only said this how many times. With that in mind, nothing has the right of way with me. I am obligated to nothing. I have no authority over me. People that are righteous sent my way? Yeah right I don't care. No one is righteous. All these status words are trash. We're all numbered. The numbers don't really matter, but when it comes down to authority yeah they do. I have no authority above me.

So as I was saying, the summary of my exploits or whatever regarding this perfect thing can be said as such. I don't want to keep repeating myself, but when it happens like this I kind of feel like I am anyway. Here's some basics: 98% filled up with goods, 2% filler. We all have some filler, I guess. Ideally you'd have none but I don't want to get into that number game right now. I mean the idea that someone has no filler is cool, maybe true, but it doesn't make them the authority. Anything 95% or more is kind of the same anyway. All the basics still hold true.

Another thing is that I have been measured to retain virtues past the point of no return so that I have enough to be saved. Saved is a vague word but it serves its purpose.

Another thing is that I have observed my entire life here and know that the raw materials are good, to say to some degree.

Alright so when it comes down to authority, again, nothing has the right to tell me I'm not good enough in words or that I should pursue another alternative. At least I'm getting this tuff out of the way.

The idea that something has to be hacked into The Matrix first before it is true is bogus, but really appealing to believe. But with that belief, the exploit is that nothing I say is ever therefore true because I try to hack in incorrectly, after I'm done inadequately expressing myself, or past a point of no return. Ridiculous... I don't have time for this.

These are some of the major barriers in this explanation. But with the idea that I am perfect or whatever comes these problems. Of course when it comes down to barriers behind perfection then what is real? I am not hacking this in or like, pretending. Or I'm not trying to alter myself to enact perfection upon myself. I am just perfect.

I'm not done.

All this shit that doesn't matter but people think it does. Sanctifying grace? Excuse me? Mortal sin? I don't really want to tackle the entire Church really, but this stuff is nonsense.

So as I was saying there are things that actually matter and I am outside these rules. We are not all the same, obviously, and our numbers are the most basic proof of this.

What else is there?

So as I was saying, I want satisfaction. And the only way to get satisfaction is the do what I will, want, believe, think... whatever, anything. Words are cheap, really, so saying the wrong thing isn't actually wrong.

What I am trying to say is that, beyond all of the bogus claims, there is some real science behind this. I have been saying this for a long time. An imperfection in the makeup of who I am is not some monster that is going to change my score or damn me or whatever. Something broke into my boundary and had me compromise to some degree. The idea behind sin is obscure. Like, what, if my final score is going to be something great, and I can even preemptively understand what that score is, nothing can change it. I cannot be damned then. So then what is sin? Missing the mark? Whatever. Probably only for those who don't know anything. I don't subscribe.

Basically this situation has come to a full stop. I always get this far and then get shut down. So whatever, but the idea is that I know that I am perfect to some degree that makes me immune to everything like this nonsense and it's hard to say but whatever. The problem is I am affronting like the entire Church traditionally and that is kind of annoying. The truth I have to deliver is very important but right now I have practical enemies that are killing me and no one really cares so I have to deal with that first. The annoying part of this is when I get my will beset and my enemies don't let me express myself. It gets annoying. I have to do whatever I want at any cost... will this freaking escalation thing ever end? What do I have to escalate to now?